Such a Pretty Fat

I have seriously fallen in love with Jennifer Lancaster's wit, humor, and spunk. I just finished the third in her memoir series. This book details her struggles with losing weight. And since I could so easily relate, all of her food jokes and fetishes and extreme food beliefs and rituals made total sense. For one, when she ventured to the gym and worked out, she felt obligated to reward herself with food after. Been there. Done that. Another one that struck a cord with me was her philosophy on weight loss programs such as Jenny Craig. Why would anyone go through the struggle of eating only things frozen and in boxes only to be faced with real food at some day in time and have to figure out how to make healthy decisions about that "real" food. I mean why can't people just figure out how to exercise and eat in moderation? Then I realize I should not be saying anything at all. I believe just yesterday, after walking a fast three miles, I ate four brownies. Count them. 1. 2. 3. 4. Why I couldn't just eat one is a question I simply can't answer.

I particularly enjoyed how Lancaster shared her failures as well as her successes. Heck, because of her enthusiasm at the end of the book, I called my trainer and requested a little cardio, weight-training mixture instead of just weight training. He obliged. And I ate a healthy salad with avocado and almonds for lunch. Then I was ravenous. Then I had a caramel mocha chiller from Sonic. Damn.

Lancaster has a trainer, too. Ironically, her name is Barbie. Lancaster's humor during her induction to weight training by the svelte Barbie is some of the best parts of the book. Also, pay particular attention to her gym etiquette. HILARIOUS!

The ending of this book was priceless. The book began with Lancaster being called a fat bitch by another bus rider. She blindly does not see her weight issues. She thinks she is just a beautiful ex-sorority girl who has gained a few pounds. What she discovers in the end when she is called a fat bitch again, is that her fears of failure and embarrassment in and around the gym have disappeared. She gets it. And as Oprah would so strongly encourage, she discovered the root of her problems with food.

It is a great, funny book. So worth your time. Read it.

The Handmaid's Tale

So far I love Margaret Atwood. I have taught her poetry before in my AP Literature class and with The Handmaid's Tale I am captivated. I can't wait to read more. So for this book...I can't stop thinking about it. Offred's tale, her voice, have haunted me since I closed the book. I will say that I believe the ending to be ambiguous. I don't agree with what I read online at all. However, I won't reveal the ending. Instead let me pick apart the rest.

First, can I just say this dystopian novel is creepy. The Eyes kept me from sleeping on two separate occasions. Seriously, I had nightmares about the book. In one I am pregnant but being hunted. At this point, I hadn't read far enough to understand that if you were a pregnant handmaid, then you were worshipped and treated like a queen. (They really wouldn't worship a handmaid because she was lesser than all other things on earth. A pregnant handmaid was given special treatment, however.) So, therefore, I shouldn't have felt hunted. I think the dream reflects the hunting, the superhuman desire, to have a child that the Gilead society had. Since nuclear warfare had rendered most people sterile, the Republic of Gilead had handmaid's that literally were provided for as long as they continued to be possible wombs for the Commander's children. The word "handmaid" meaning that during the act of sex , the wife of the Commander would hold the hands of the handmaid so that the child, if conceived, technically is one flesh with the wife and Commander, leaving the Handmaid as a incubator only for the fetus.

Beyond this extremely odd way of procreating, the entire story creates a lasting impact. The society is strict and forbidding. Nothing is permitted. Some male figures of authority were afforded luxuries but that is all. Offred's first person narration is full of satire and biting commentary on the state of her life. Previously, she had been a mother and wife. She knew what love was. All of that was stripped away and the enormity of that pain becomes very real to the reader. Offred is so lonely and sad that she creates numerous versions of some of the more exciting aspects of her otherwise dull existence. She also creates various versions of the truth about her real life before Gilead.

I particularly enjoyed Atwood's style. She uses a lot of anaphora and parallel structure in order to create Offred's wit. For example, Offred says, "I would like to be without shame. I would like to be shameless. I would like to be ignorant. Then I would not know how ignorant I was."

She has shame and she is an independent thinker. Then, however, she gives herself no slack when she does something less than great under normal circumstances. In her circumstance doing stupid things was all that kept her alive.

Bright Lights, Big Ass

So I should first say that after immediately reading this book, I met Jen Lancaster in person. She was all that I expected of her--hilarious, spunky, and engaging. AND I learned that there was a third book to read before Pretty in Plaid. So now I have two more Lancaster reads! Yay! Me.

Really this book is about Jen's beginning attempts at writing while working temp jobs. As she said when she did her reading at Barnes and Noble, the footnotes grow on you. I like them now. During the first book, I hated them.

So let's see, what were my favorite stories? Can I just say that I love Rachel Ray. Jen, however, hates her and Fletch, her husband, really attempts her recipes. Now, see, that is the sweet part. I like watching her (not because of her tight shirts and headlights, as Jen suggests) but I never try to cook her meals. I know things can't be made in 30 minutes becuase, unlike Rachel, I can't dice, chop, and sautee at the speed of light. I spend 10 minutes on one onion and half of that time is stepping away from the onion in order to stop crying! Fletch, poor soul, actually attempts many of her meals but with little success. Jen's take on all of that is extremely funny.

I also thoroughly enjoyed her Christmas story when she and Fletch actually had some money for the first time in a few years. The whole "reach around" discussion, or lack thereof, was priceless. It is hard to believe that a woman who cusses like a sailor is a modest as she seems to be.

I love Jennifer Lancaster and I love her books and I can't wait to delve into the third one.

The Year of Fog

SPOILER ALERT....So I read Michelle Richmond's book The Year of Fog. I almost didn't buy the books since a young six-year-old girl disappears. I thought child abduction / mystery would be too much for a mother. However, Richmond tells the story from the fiance's point of view. Granted the fiance was practically the girl's mother, since her biological mother left her when she was much younger, and the father had left Emma with Abby for the weekend. Obviously, he trusted her. Because of this point of view, the story has a parental detachment. Jake, Emma's father, easily believes that Emma was taken away by the rip-tide, and eventually, the police determine that to be the case. However, the conflict of the story is that Abby is more obsessed with finding Emma than Jake is. She also never believes that she simply drowned. The repetitive nature of Richmond's storytelling makes the story flow like water. Coincidentally enough, water frames many events of the story--Emma's disappearance, the main clue to discovering Emma, and Emma's actual discovery. Abby's mental discovery and dissection was interesting and I kept reading to see how it would end. Unfortunately, I do have to say that the end of the book frustrated me. As the reader, I loath Jake for giving up so easily. Then when he makes Abby choose between exhausting one last attempt at finding Emma or a relationship with him, I absolutely could not believe he stuck with that decision AFTER Abby finds Emma. It is through this last ditch, and incredibly coincidental, effort that Emma is found. So shouldn't all bets be off? Shouldn't Jake be so relieved that Emma is alive and well and therefore, immensely grateful and forgiving of Abby? Unfortunately, the answers are no. Jake and Emma don't seem to want to even see Abby much less spend time with her. What I found really frustrating is that Abby had a chance to be happy with someone else but because of her determination to find Emma, she loses that chance, too.

I don't know. What can I say? If Richmond is going to make Emma's discovery so far-fetched, then shouldn't the happily-ever-after ending happen? Realistically, Emma would have remained lost. She doesn't. But Abby and Jake can't find their way back to each other and now Abby is so changed, she has to start over. I think she deserved a break.

Pride and Prejudice

As an AP English teacher I am both blessed and cursed with the AP reading list. There are times when I feel quite ambitious and scholarly and read something off the list purely for my intellectual growth, and, who am I kidding, my ability to impress the brainiacs sitting in my AP classroom. But mostly, I have this dread of anything from that damn list and read every last word from whatever book with piercing eyes and venomous thoughts...big sigh. And again, I understand my students' reluctance.

However, my experiences with Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice was positively pleasant, so much so that I took it on Spring Break to finish reading. I read this in college but, as the introduction to this blog explains, I can't remember diddly when it comes to diddly. I don't know. I do think I will be an excellent candidate for Alzeimer's some day. Again, I am off topic.

I enjoyed Pride and Prejudice because it does what all my favorite books do: it makes me feel like I am somewhere else. No my life is not that bad, but who doesn't mind an escape every once in a while? Elizabeth is so clever and such a woman beyond her time that I can't help but believe every decision she makes is completely correct. Despite the fact that she too quickly jumps to judgement about Mr. Darcy, I still am on the Elizabeth's bandwagon! While Mrs. Bennet tries my ever-last nerve, I am constantly surprised with the decorum that Elizabeth and Jane employ to pacify her. And Mr. Bennet, though a little too distant, keeps Mrs. Bennet's insane tactics at bay. Naturally, this is where Elizabeth gets her grace.

The fact that everyone ends up happy in this book is shocking. I guess that just goes to show that ignorance is bliss (think Lydia here). Lydia doesn't understand that her reputation has forever been damaged. Nor does she ever realize the pain she causes her family. In light of her situation, I believe the fact that all achieve happiness is deserving and fitting. I love that Jane and Bingley finally get together and, of course, Elizabeth's relationship with Mr. Darcy is so pleasing on every level. I picture him the tall-dark-and-handsome type and just know that he is Elizabeth's perfect match. He will not try to pigeonhole her desires and ambitions.

I never know how to end these things, notice. The calm of this book even though it deals with drama with a capital D just made it a page-turner. READ IT!

Wuthering Heights

I love this book! Its classic nature and grotesque aura just captivate me. I so enjoy the diabolical nature of Heathcliff and Catherine, while I so despise the annoyingly whinny disposition of Linton, and at times, the young Catherine. What I find amazing is that I think I just figured out why I love it so much. I have taught it for the past three years to my AP class and of course read it in college. But the new aspect of the book that I just discovered is that Heathcliff and Catherine are the anti-archetypal characters. Okay, shocker, I know for those of you who study literature 'for real'. But, honestly, I just got it. They aren't traditional lovers or haters. To say they have a love-hate relationship is an understatement. They subsist on torturing each other. That is their purpose. What I find the most intriguing is that Catherine does marry Edgar and seems happy. Heathcliff is gone and she actually does find a way to be happy and content. Why does his presence along make her nasty? She is such a strange creation that I often wonder why Bronte created her. I understand Heathcliff to be the villain, but Catherine? She enjoys the torture and strife, plain and simple.

Teaching this book always proves interesting. Despite the high diction of Lockwood in the beginning, students end up loving this book too. I believe that any book which provokes such strong feelings from its readers is meant to be a classic. That is the key. Even the most reluctant reader falls in love with the unnatural romance in the pages of this book. I think we all have the instinct to rubber-neck at an accident, and I believe this book is much like that. The relationships are morbid and haunting but we can't look away.

A Mercy by Toni Morrison

I was so excited about Morrison's newest novel, especially because it was presumed to be a prequel to Beloved. Unfortunately, it wasn't a prequel in the sense I was expecting. More about that later. First, I should explain my love of Beloved. Maybe it is the fact that my students usually abhor the book, which in turn, propels it higher into that literary cannon that I feel any self-respecting AP English teacher should delve into. Maybe I like Beloved because I finally understand it. I mean I have only read it four times, three of which I have also taught it. My first experience is one I can't remember--and now I think I know why. It was extremely difficult reading and I, much like my students now, struggled with it in order to prepare for my computer exam portion of National Board Certification. My appreciation of it has only grown as I, too, have grown as a critical reader and its dense language now makes perfect sense. The element of "WTH?" is gone. I enjoy teaching Beloved because it is so full of literary meat that to adequately prepare my students for the AP exam, I feel they must test their abilities with its language, its motifs, its characterizations. And none of that mentions the fact that it has been on the AP exam five times in the past seven years AND won a Nobel Prize. So there. It is worth the trouble.


Now, for a mercy. MMM. Well, I don't know where to begin. It is as challenging as I assume Beloved was the first time. The book is based on various female voices during the 1680's. Rebekka is, for all respects and purposes, a slave owner's wife before slavery officially exists. Florens is a girl whose mother trades her to pay the debt owed by her mother's master, which is how Rebekka gains another servant. Sorrow and Lina are also at Rebekka's home. (I honestly can't remember when Sorrow comes-before or after Florens. Lina is with Rebekka first.) Sorrow is exceedingly strange since most of her life she was raised on a ship and raised as a boy, from what I could gather. Lina, oddly enough, is actually friends with Rebekka. Rebekka endured religious persecution in England and chose marriage to a stranger overseas over the possible future of rigid intolerance. In the beginning, Rebekka and her husband are good people who resist the new idea of owning human life. They approach the work on the farm together with Lina and eventually Sorrow and Florens.


Okay, so that is the premise of the book. I struggled through half of it before I sorted through the voices. I was hearing voices, in more ways than one; however, I was not absorbing which stories went with which character. So that made the reading difficult naturally. Once I pushed through my own confusion, I finally understood the metaphor behind the title. Mercy is shown in the strangest of ways, ways that oftentimes don't make sense to those most impacted. The reader understands that fact once Florens's mother is heard from again ... at the very end.


This book lacked the drama that makes Beloved such a page-turner. It also lacked the character development that evidently I need to really "get into" a book. I am glad I read it. Now I really want to tackle other of Morrison's books, like The Bluest Eye and Sula. I often have students who choose to read those along with our class's study of Beloved. These students usually like the previous two books better than Beloved. So, ultimately, I need to see if I can pass the Morrison "test" or if I just like Beloved because I have spent so much time with it.

Now I am on to more light reading. Jen Lancaster's blog has completely sold me on her wit and voice. I have Bitter Is the New Black on my nightstand...